By
Sheila L. Jackson
I decided to write this blog, because it amazed
me at the many men and women dealing with hurtful issues in the
church. Whether it is rape, molestation, incest, adultery, or betrayal, these
traumatic experiences will hinder your spiritual walk. Most insensitive people
will say, “Get over it, that happened in the past.” But it’s easier said than
done. When a person has been sexually and verbally abused, or even stalked in
the church, the event is traumatic. There is no magic pill to relieve the hurt,
shame, and stress that it causes.
As
I speak out about overcoming adversities at women conferences, I began to see a
large number of men sharing their stories of abuse in the church, as well.
Victims of this nature will not come forward, for fear of being
blamed for what happened to them. No woman, man, or child asked to be abused,
hurt, and treated like trash. As women, we are the worst at pointing our
fingers and blaming the victim for what happened. No one has the right to
violate another person.
80%
of rape victims know their rapist; only a small percentage is raped by
strangers. Rape doesn't just happen in our homes, schools, or place of
business. Today, many are being violated in the very place we believe to be a safe
haven— the church. The world is a cold and cruel place, if we're not
protected at church, where can we go to feel safe?
I
heard a radio personality say that pastors have no business counseling their
congregation on such issues as marriage, incest, or rape. He went on to say,
“They are not equipment to handle such in-depth issues. I agree with the radio
personality to a certain degree. Unless you have a PH degree
in psychology/sociology to know the warning signs of abuse, you are not
qualified or equipped to council on such matters. There are many broken
people sitting in our congregations Sunday after Sunday turning to their
leaders for help, only to receive uneducated and nonspiritual advice.
I applaud those church leaders who have further their education on this
subject, in order to better help their members.
How can victims overcome
adversities such as these? Through prayer, seeking professional counseling, and
know that what happened to you, is not your fault. In I Corinthian 5, God left
rules and regulations to follow when dealing with a sexually perverted member
of the congregation. Many pastors seemed to avoid this book. They make excuses
and hide behind church protocol to keep from dealing with such
hard-hitting issues, but know that God will hold them accountable for
not getting their parishioners the help they need.
To overcome adversities in the
church, educate yourself, your spiritual healing depends on it. Most
preachers are concerned with packing the church pews each Sunday morning,
building bigger sanctuaries, and lining their pockets with money. Your feelings
and interest are little or no importance to them. Get the help you need, even
if it means moving to another church.
